The Latest

I’ve never been terribly over weight… Always felt like I could lose those pesky last few lbs; nonetheless I’ve been content with my body… Until now.

I never thought I would see the day I feel too skinny , didn’t even consider that an option… But here I am, 30lbs less than I was last year, and it’s not stopping. I feel like I’m unable to maintain energy. Everything hurts. I just want doctors to listen, evaluate and figure this out. Im trying so hard to stay strong but I’m physically feeling so weak at this point I don’t know what else to do.. And how much fight I have left in me. :(
Oct 14, 2014

I’ve never been terribly over weight… Always felt like I could lose those pesky last few lbs; nonetheless I’ve been content with my body… Until now.

I never thought I would see the day I feel too skinny , didn’t even consider that an option… But here I am, 30lbs less than I was last year, and it’s not stopping. I feel like I’m unable to maintain energy. Everything hurts. I just want doctors to listen, evaluate and figure this out. Im trying so hard to stay strong but I’m physically feeling so weak at this point I don’t know what else to do.. And how much fight I have left in me. :(

Oct 7, 2014

c’est la vie ?

frustrated.

the vision in my right eye is blurry more frequently than ever now.

the hearing in my right ear has been coming and going

shooting pain in right arm, cant even make a fist without pain

-forget using a phone,typing / txting with that hand.

head pain is out of control.

i could not be anymore over the lack of functionality my stomach has.

so dizzy. so tired. 

stiff neck. hurts to breathe.

i’d cry, but what would that do? 

Oct 1, 2014

why do I love this song so muchhhh

Sep 29, 2014

I’m doing my best to hold on mentally but physically .. I don’t know how much I have left. 😔

Sep 17, 2014

"Ok keep googling but stop for a cute animal break every half hour"

❤️

Sep 17, 2014

C word.

Next time a doctor calls or emails me on the 16th— straight to voicemail / spam filter.

Sep 12, 2014

Ouch.

chronic debilitating  migraine.

sensory aura

white matter lesions

unremitting pain. unresponsive to therapy & medication.

Ongoing for 10 months +1 day (so far)

:(

Sep 8, 2014

I never really think too much about how difficult my life is and how much work goes in to each day. I never really stop to consider how my daughters life is, as unorthodox as it may be… Growing up in a house with just her mom.

It’s not really until the traditional family portrait is looking me dead on that I kind of whimper inside and wish for a little more normalcy.

Sunday afternoons at the park are a sure fire way to see the minivans, strollers, whole fam out for an afternoon of laughs and enjoyment as they frolic around the swing-set…

Had to take a deep breath and hold my baby girls hand and walk away from the giggling children saying “daddy look at me!” I know it stings for her, I see it in her eyes…

As much as I wish I was able to provide her full “family” unit.. I love my little mini family and our stability and our inseparable bond we’ve created. I just hope everything I’m doing for her is enough.

Aug 23, 2014 / 1 note

I Love you.

Always. In all ways.

Aug 20, 2014 / 1 note

Amazing getaway to the US Virgin Islands : St. Thomas & St. John. Absolutely breathtaking in every way.